apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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