u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
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