he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
My vagina is very pro this idea
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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