Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize