A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Randomize
