I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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