Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Randomize
