two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
