i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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