I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
