How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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