never play flip cup with pint glasses
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
