do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
