i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
3 2 1 whiskey
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
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