ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Holy sore nipples Batman
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
