I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
