ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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