it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Randomize
