id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
PANTIES FOUND
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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