This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
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We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
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There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
We're too hungover to prance.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
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