That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
My ATM looks so different sober.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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