Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
