I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
