I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
