Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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