Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize