so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
