really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
