i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Randomize