idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
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