Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
