she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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