We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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