I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize