Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
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