Taylor Swift is so right about you.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
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theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
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Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
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