Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
