I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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