they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
