I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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