she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
