You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
