I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
