is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
