1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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