were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize