Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
