Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
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