He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
