i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
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