I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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