why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
