We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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