lets start a swedish sibling band together
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Randomize
