ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
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