I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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