I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
