well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Dignity is for republicans.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
