What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
