I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
