Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
