He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
