We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
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